Letting Him Lead

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, Have never forsaken those who seek you.//En Ti confiaran los que conocen tu nombre, por cuanto tu, oh Jehova, no desamparaste a los que te buscaron" Psalm 9:10//Salmo 9:10

Many times we as Christians complain about not hearing God or not getting an answer from God. But, in my opinion, I think it is harder when we do get an answer, when we do hear that command, when we know exactly what the Lord wants from us. During those times, my first thoughts tend to be questioning like why, why, and are you sure?! Not rejoicing (as it should be). I always seem to doubt or question if God is really calling me to do something...but I´m learning that that´s not exactly the best way to communicate with God. Through learning about the Christmas story year after year, Mary doesn't say "Are you sure?" She says, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." Luke 1:38 I want that. I'm trying to do that. So...here it goes. I'm letting Him lead.

As you may know, this sounds pretty crazy for me. I am a natural born leader and like to make decisions for myself, so surrending fully isn't something I'm good at. But, time and time again in 2013 the Lord has called me to surrender, surrender, surrender. Since the Urbana Missions Conference when I met LAM (soon to be United World Mission), I knew that I was getting ready for a wild adventure.

Since June, I've spent most of my time as a missionary with LAM (with the exception of my visit to the States in August) and grown as a servant, a woman of Christ, a learner, a teacher, a daughter and sister, and most of all a follower. Being in a new culture with a different language forces you to continually be in a 'learner' frame of mind. At the beginning, I followed my summer facilitators around like a lost little puppy, and even now find myself following my mentors around the City as we venture to new places. Learning to follow and learning to be a 'learner' is an interesting experience, and I wouldn't change it for the world!

As I begin to reflect on my time in the D.F. by reading my journal and praying, I realized that most of the scripture that I have been meditating on has been focusing on following. I led worship for one of our team meetings about a month ago, and it was about Proverbs 3:5-6 (I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all ways I acknowledge Him and He directs my paths) not realizing what God was asking for my life. It's so cool how God prepares us for our next chapters in life before we even begin to realize it.

Well, here it is. My next chapter. I am prematurely leaving Mexico in seven days when our Christmas break begins.When I bought my plane ticket over a month ago, I never thought that it would end up being a one-way ticket, but God knows exactly what He was doing. The day after I bought the ticket, and the many days to follow, God continuously confirmed through sermons, scripture, music, friends, and prayer that going home was my ministry. If you know me well enough, you know that this seems super strange..me. feeling called to Virginia. to live at home. What? I know. I was shocked, too! I have such an international heart. I want to continue to travel, to learn about different cultures, to serve the people of Mexico, to learn more Spanish, etc. But after much fasting and prayer, I have a lot of peace about where the Lord is calling me next.

This news deeply saddens me-don't get me wrong! I am so in love with the D.F. I've learned how to live differently with the Lord's provision and guidance. Mexico has really challenged me to grow and to be more disciplined, and I am so thankful and blessed for that. I will miss my team, my mentors, both of my host families, my church families, my friends, and so much more. Mexico City will always have my heart.

Even though tears roll out of my eyes as I write this post, I am so overwhelmed with joy. I told church on Sunday that these goodbyes should be celebrations, because we are all following our callings that the Lord has placed on our hearts. Goodbyes are never fun, but I have the faith and strength to know that God has incredible plans for me and for them, as well. I'm confident that the Lord will continue to move in Mexico City, and He doesn't need me here to do that! He used me, and now it's my time to return home to Virginia to be with family. I still don't know what's to come in my future, but I know that I'm finally following and letting Him lead.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way in which you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and brittle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him. 

Psalms 32: 8-10

Faith

Faith requires patience. Faith requires love. Faith requires endurance. It requires trails. Faith requires laughter. It requires both the good times and the bad times. Faith requires blindness. Faith requires obedience. It requires response.

In Mexico: walking, speaking in Spanish, laughing at ourselves constantly, watching too many sunrises when all we want to do is sleep, being stared at, leading bible studies, sharing testimonies, riding the metro, navigating the city...or helping Mexicans navigate the city (terrifying, I know...I'm just a gringa!), going to ministries, getting sick but knowing that healing is coming, living with strangers that we now consider family, trusting strangers, making friends, learning Spanish, etc. ALL have required so much faith.

Having faith in the Lord can be difficult. But, if it wasn't hard, I think that we would take advantage of how great God's faithfulness is for us. And, honestly, just how great He is! A couple of days ago, my family and I were riding back from one of our weekly bible studies and How Great Thou Art came on the radio (but of course it was in Spanish). We all kind of started humming, and then bursting into song when the chorus hit. I was overfilled with joy as we drove through the busy streets of the city. Even a two and five year old knew that God's faithfulness is great! It's so beautiful. I often forget about how much Jesus sacrificed for me, because I'm so preoccupied about what I "sacrificed" to be in Mexico. But let's be real for a second, I sacrificed next to n o t h i n g to follow the Lord on this journey. He continues to be the greatest teacher in my life, and I'm so thankful for that. The Lord is good. How Great Thou Art (Cuán Gran es Él)! 

Q&A

I've been in Mexico for about a month and a half! The D.F. has really become like a home to me! I've had ups, downs, and lots of in betweens, but I truly feel like I'm growing in so many different ways. Migraines and a cold have been a struggle, but my body is finally adjusting to the altitude and climate. Thank you for your prayers in regards to my health! 

My team and leaders are incredible. They've been there for everything, and I am gracious for their love, hugs, and prayers through this time. My roommate, Robin, and my host family have been incredible with supporting me through my times of sickness and grumpiness. My team and Mexican friends and family are just incredible, so don't worry about me, Mom and Dad!

I haven't really had a chance to write much recently, so I thought that I would write a Q&A blog post answering each and every question. This post might be a tad long, but I hope that it helps explain everything related to Mexico and missions!

1. What is your daily schedule?
Sundays are full of church, ministries, and outreach. Mondays are our Sabbath with a bible study at night. Every Tuesday the group has a debrief meeting and talk referring to culture, history, and missions from one of our leaders or a Mexican leader in the community. Wednesdays are Spanish classes and work days. Team bible study and worship are on Thursdays, with Mana afterwards. (Mana is the after school program.) Fridays are Spanish classes and then Recobro. (Recobro is the safe home for women and children with mental disabilities.) Saturdays are full of family time, small groups, and then preparing for church!

2. What is something that you have had to learn to love about Mexico?
Great question! Going through culture shock surfaced a lot of things I have had to learn to love! Some of those include the metro, spontaneity, always being around people, and speaking Spanish. I've come to find out that I absolutely crave riding the metro-even during sweaty rush hour. Spontaneity and I have a love/hate relationship, but I'm okay with that! I'm still getting in the groove of finding alone time, but living on a roof with the ability to watch the sunrise and sunset is quite an encouragement! And there are definitely days I wish I was fluent in Spanish, but learning is a process.

3.What inspired you to be a missionary? How long ago did you know that it was what you were supposed to do?
I've always loved doing short term mission trips (especially international), so being a recent graduate seemed like the perfect opportunity to go abroad, be stretched, and just love on people for a while. I never really had one day where the heavens opened and God told me to go to Mexico, but lots of little things just added up. I started college wanting to be an elementary school teacher, but realized that was not what I was supposed to do right now! So, I picked up an international studies minor and later a Spanish minor with a general Liberal Studies degree. What was my plan with this degree? No idea. I just trusted in the Lord that He would give me guidance. In December, I went to a missions conference called Urbana in St. Louis. It was an incredible week of worship and talks that led me to Latin America Mission. Through learning about their programs, the YearOut fit best, so I prayed and the Lord provided! I'm not so sure that God has called me to be a full time missionary, but what I love about the YearOut Avance Program is that it is just a taste of missionary life. It's like an internship with Jesus! International discipleship is priceless, so I'm here as a learner to grow, serve, and show the love of Christ.   

4. What do I miss most about the States?
Family, friends, carpet, and mac and cheese. Hands down.

5. What has been your biggest challenge?
Migraines and Spanish!

6. Does your work in Mexico look like the work you did in Uganda?
No. While I value my experiences in Uganda so much, I am learning completely new things in Mexico City. In Uganda, I worked more with younger street children and in a boys home. Here in the D.F., I work alongside adolescents, live with a host family, am more independent, and work with women! It's definitely different, but I love the opportunities that the Lord has provided for my growth in Him.

7. What has God taught you recently?
He has taught me to be in complete thanksgiving all the time-even through trials. One of my favorite things about Spanish is that it is so easy to say thank you...after all it's "gracias!" What an easy one! When praying all you say is "Dios, gracias por..." (God, thank you for...) That's usually how every prayer starts. It has really shaped my prayer life and the way that I live in general. Finding how to constantly give thanks to the Lord has been such a growing experience for me.

8. What is your church like?
My host dad is the pastor of a smaller Baptist church in the northern part of the city. He is extremely committed to the church, which is very refreshing to see. It definitely keeps Robin and I occupied! Every Sunday morning before the service, a few members of the church and I do a "metro outreach program." You might be thinking that we are crazy, but people here definitely express themselves by selling things, singing, performing skits, and asking for money on the metro, so why not talk about Jesus? My dad does less than a two minute sermon and then we hand out pamphlets to people who are interested in hearing more. We do this from one metro stop to the next for almost an hour! Many, many people in Mexico have never heard of Jesus' love and grace before, so it is beautiful to reach out to people and give them a taste of Christianity. Each pamphlet has information on how to get plugged into a church, how to pray, and the basics about being a Christian. After the metro outreach, we head back to the church, have a bible study, and then worship and a sermon. At times I help with Sunday School, but I really enjoy hospitality and helping with the service, as well! We sing everything from hymns to Hillsong, and the church is just a beautiful family that truly reflects the Lord's love. 

9. What is one thing that you'd bring home from Mexico?
The obvious answer is my host families (from this summer and this fall). My second thing would be a Taco El Pastor oven thingy.. I don't know how to describe it. Look it up! Haha! It's the best type of taco meat around!

10. What have you learned about your own spirituality that you were unaware of before Mexico?  
I never realized how much I always demanded from God. I wanted this and that and never ceased asking the Lord to provide for me. Being forced to pray in Spanish has turned my prayers into constant thanksgiving. It has definitely carried over into my English prayers and perspective about how great our God truly is!

*I feel as though ten questions is enough for now! If you have more questions, feel free to leave a comment! I will be sure to answer it. :)

*If you have not already, please join my email list. I send at least one email a month to my friends, family, and supporters. If you'd like to join, email me at amanda.krzywicki@live.longwood.edu. I also have a prayer team that I send more frequent emails to regarding more specific prayer requests. If you would like to join this team, email me! I would love to add you to one or both.

*Please continue to be in prayer for my host families, my team and our leaders, my health, fundraising, relationships, and for my church.

Have a blessed rest of your week! Thanks for reading :)

Su Gracia

To be honest, the past few days have been quite discouraging. I've had a terrible migraine that prohibited me from going to my ministries and lots of thoughts to distract me. One of my biggest worries these past few weeks has been about student loans. Being a recent graduate and worrying about money is not that fun...so as I moved to a foreign country and applied to pay my loans later, I thought everything was going to be fine. On the contrary, I was rejected from postponing my loans this week.

Then, yesterday morning I got on my account just to check on the status of my loans-and everything has been postponed... And next to each loan it says "in grace." Um. Ok. That's different. Whether that's common language in loans or not, that phrase isn't too common in my daily vocabulary. 

God's grace is truly overwhelming me! Sometimes, i just have to get over my own stubbornness, and ask him to cover me in His power and love. After all, He is in control, not me. I'm sure that my struggle with student loans and distracting thoughts isn't over, but I know that His grace is sufficient. His grace covers all-even my biggest fears. My prayer for you is that you continue to be wrapped in His grace, too! 

Please continue to be in prayer for culture shock, my brain, and unexpected miracles as I enter my third week in the D.F. This week is full of fun plans, bible studies, and my first full days in ministry (since my migraine forced me to rest)! Thank you for all of your support. As always, please let me know how I can be praying for you by emailing me at Amanda.krzywicki@live.longwood.edu.

Manatee

When I was about ten, my grandparents invited my sister and I to accompany them on their Florida vacation. One day,  my grandparents invited my sister and I to swim with manatees in the wild. We were so excited! When the day came, we weren't nervous at all. We hopped in the water, laughed a bit, and started searching through our goggles for these mysterious creatures. We saw one way off in the distance "quickly" approaching. (If you don't know, manatees move extremely slow). Lizzy and I began to panic. We started kicking our legs and stirred up the water on accident. We could no longer see this giant mammal heading towards us in the murky waters. We both panicked and asked the instructor what to do. He calmly said, "just float, relax, and prepare yourself to see something great. It won't hurt you. You are extremely safe." That was the last thing we wanted to hear. RELAX? Are you kidding me? A giant animal is swimming towards us, and he wants us to float? We listened, but definitely hesitated. Needless to say, these giant "water potatoes" were approachable, gentle, and quite friendly. That day is a day I'll always cherish, despite the fear I had in the beginning.

When I felt that God wanted me here in Mexico, I was excited and ready. But as the days came closer, I started doubting. Is He really sure I'm supposed to be here? Am I prepared? What was I supposed to do in one of the biggest cities in the world? I asked Him, and He said to "relax and wait to see something great." My response was just about the same with the manatees...

Today we had a team meeting full of worship and bible study. During our worship time, the image of that giant manatee came into my mind. Seriously-I haven't thought about that in years! But all the sudden, all my worries an anticipation about ministries starting this week disappeared! I've been so preoccupied about teaching my own class at Maná and starting to work at Recobro, that I haven't gotten too excited yet. But, as I picture this sweet, giant creature gliding through the water coming towards me, I couldn't help but compare it to my ministries. The murky waters are really blurring my vision for what I'm supposed to 'do,' but my ultimate Instructor is telling me to float, relax, and to prepare myself to see something great.

I don't know exactly what this "something great" is going to be quite yet, but I'm excited to see how God is already working here. I'm pumped to be hands-on in His mission in the D.F. 

I just wanted to share that image with you. Whenever you see a giant opportunity coming your way and the water churns up, float, relax, and wait on something great. Don't get discouraged or give up! "He is with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

Take Heart

It has officially been one week in the D.F. (Districto Federal)! I am still adjusting, but loving every second. Latin America Mission (soon to partner with United World Mission) has a very beneficial program for the YearOuters where we take Spanish classes, have weekly training meetings, and are also involved in an inductive bible study together. Each of these aspects has begun, and I am so excited! While I have not yet moved in with my host family or begun my ministry placements, everything is underway. The team is fantastic, goofy, and in constant awe of the goodness of Jesus. We are excited to build each other up this year as we seek the Lord in our different ministries. I will be meeting with my ministries and moving in with my host family starting this weekend, and I’m thrilled to continue being a learner through this process!

Please be in prayer for the YearOut Team (Lizzie, Robin, Erik, and I), culture adjustment, and that the Lord continues to be a presence here. I am also currently seeking more monthly supporters. It is a necessity to raise a sufficient amount each month in order to continue to work here, and I am humbly asking for your participation. Are you interested in joining my support team? To give, please go to: www.lam.org/missionaries/amanda-krzywicki. If you would like to become more prayerfully involved in what God is doing in the D.F., please let me know if you’d like to be added to my Prayer Team by sending me an email at amanda.krzywicki@live.longwood.edu.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

Gloria a Dios! (Glory to God) This week has been a phenomenal week of “see-you-laters,” support-raising, and hugs. You all truly inspire me and keep me going during this time of preparation!

During my last week in the States, God has been revealing himself in amazing ways. On Thursday, I had the privilege of going back to Longwood University and speaking at BCM (a campus organization that I was heavily involved with during my undergraduate career). The overflowing joy and encouragement in that room on Thursday was more than I could have ever fathomed. My campus minister asked me to speak about life as a missionary, but for some reason I couldn't get over the fact that being a missionary is not just about laboring. Therefore, I talked about being in “sponge mode” for Jesus as we live out our daily lives by soaking up His holy presence. I think that a huge part of life as a missionary is soaking up His love, forgiveness, and grace. Being a missionary is not just “doing,” it’s “being.”

While remaining in sponge mode myself, I have grown in thanksgiving for how the Lord is preparing me for my official placements. I will be working at the Centro del Recobro, which is a safe house for women and children with mental disabilities who have been abandoned or abused. My second placement is with Mana, which is an after-school program for underprivileged children. Both of these placements are incredibly exciting, and I can’t wait to share stories with you about both!

If you do not already receive my monthly newsletters via email, please contact me at Amanda.krzywicki@live.longwood.edu. I would be happy to add you. If you would also like to take part of my prayer team, contact me as well. This is for individuals who commit to praying for me on a regular basis and have asked to receive specific prayer requests on an immediate-need basis.

As I count down the hours to my 9:30am departure on Tuesday, please continue to pray for me, my placements, my new host family, and Mexico City. Pray for my other team members who are anxiously waiting to see how the Lord is going to work through them in Mexico, as well. Pray for our safety, smooth travels, health, and final preparations as we deploy. Once again, thank you for your love and prayers. I will hopefully update my blog within the next month or so!

Until then, adios y Dios te bendiga! (Goodbye and God bless you!)

Ps. I would love to invite you to the next fundraiser held at St. Marks United Methodist Church (1151 Lucks Lane, Midlothian, VA, 23114) on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26^TH FROM 11AM-2PM. The UMM have committed to helping me fund raise by selling BBQ chicken dinners for anyone in the area. If you love BBQ, supporting missions, and live near Richmond, please stop by!