Letting Him Lead

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, Have never forsaken those who seek you.//En Ti confiaran los que conocen tu nombre, por cuanto tu, oh Jehova, no desamparaste a los que te buscaron" Psalm 9:10//Salmo 9:10

Many times we as Christians complain about not hearing God or not getting an answer from God. But, in my opinion, I think it is harder when we do get an answer, when we do hear that command, when we know exactly what the Lord wants from us. During those times, my first thoughts tend to be questioning like why, why, and are you sure?! Not rejoicing (as it should be). I always seem to doubt or question if God is really calling me to do something...but I´m learning that that´s not exactly the best way to communicate with God. Through learning about the Christmas story year after year, Mary doesn't say "Are you sure?" She says, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." Luke 1:38 I want that. I'm trying to do that. So...here it goes. I'm letting Him lead.

As you may know, this sounds pretty crazy for me. I am a natural born leader and like to make decisions for myself, so surrending fully isn't something I'm good at. But, time and time again in 2013 the Lord has called me to surrender, surrender, surrender. Since the Urbana Missions Conference when I met LAM (soon to be United World Mission), I knew that I was getting ready for a wild adventure.

Since June, I've spent most of my time as a missionary with LAM (with the exception of my visit to the States in August) and grown as a servant, a woman of Christ, a learner, a teacher, a daughter and sister, and most of all a follower. Being in a new culture with a different language forces you to continually be in a 'learner' frame of mind. At the beginning, I followed my summer facilitators around like a lost little puppy, and even now find myself following my mentors around the City as we venture to new places. Learning to follow and learning to be a 'learner' is an interesting experience, and I wouldn't change it for the world!

As I begin to reflect on my time in the D.F. by reading my journal and praying, I realized that most of the scripture that I have been meditating on has been focusing on following. I led worship for one of our team meetings about a month ago, and it was about Proverbs 3:5-6 (I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all ways I acknowledge Him and He directs my paths) not realizing what God was asking for my life. It's so cool how God prepares us for our next chapters in life before we even begin to realize it.

Well, here it is. My next chapter. I am prematurely leaving Mexico in seven days when our Christmas break begins.When I bought my plane ticket over a month ago, I never thought that it would end up being a one-way ticket, but God knows exactly what He was doing. The day after I bought the ticket, and the many days to follow, God continuously confirmed through sermons, scripture, music, friends, and prayer that going home was my ministry. If you know me well enough, you know that this seems super strange..me. feeling called to Virginia. to live at home. What? I know. I was shocked, too! I have such an international heart. I want to continue to travel, to learn about different cultures, to serve the people of Mexico, to learn more Spanish, etc. But after much fasting and prayer, I have a lot of peace about where the Lord is calling me next.

This news deeply saddens me-don't get me wrong! I am so in love with the D.F. I've learned how to live differently with the Lord's provision and guidance. Mexico has really challenged me to grow and to be more disciplined, and I am so thankful and blessed for that. I will miss my team, my mentors, both of my host families, my church families, my friends, and so much more. Mexico City will always have my heart.

Even though tears roll out of my eyes as I write this post, I am so overwhelmed with joy. I told church on Sunday that these goodbyes should be celebrations, because we are all following our callings that the Lord has placed on our hearts. Goodbyes are never fun, but I have the faith and strength to know that God has incredible plans for me and for them, as well. I'm confident that the Lord will continue to move in Mexico City, and He doesn't need me here to do that! He used me, and now it's my time to return home to Virginia to be with family. I still don't know what's to come in my future, but I know that I'm finally following and letting Him lead.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way in which you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and brittle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him. 

Psalms 32: 8-10